And that is something that simply cannot be achieved. So you will fail again.

In addition, it ties you emotionally to them -- you feel they have all the power, you have none.

Punishing people just produces more people who want to punish in revenge... Unless you completely break all those who have damaged you. Can you do that?

The only way out that I see is to become independent of those abusers, so your life, and even how you react to them, is not determined by them. I have not found this easy to do, but I think it is the only way to succeed. When you can decrease reacting to them with fear and anger, you can start to see that, internally, they don't feel powerful at all. Just the opposite. They feel frightened, on the edge of disintegration. That is why they must react violently. It's a way to discharge the distress they feel.