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Old 03-18-2019, 05:44 PM
TheUrOther TheUrOther is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
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TheUrOther TheUrOther is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 121

1 yr Member
Default Re: Any information about abuse by parents with PTSD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
In addition, it ties you emotionally to them -- you feel they have all the power, you have none.
It has nothing to do with "feelings" - it's a practical matter of physical numbers and strength. No single person can defeat a properly-executed dogpile. It doesn't matter what I feel; it matters what these people can do. If you still think emotions are a factor then you're underestimating the problem, and what these people can do.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
Punishing people just produces more people who want to punish in revenge...
But that's not punishment - punishment is strictly active discouragement of bad behavior; punishment itself is not bad behavior, therefore actions fighting against punishment cannot itself be "punishment" - those are simply defiant behaviors.



Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
Unless you completely break all those who have damaged you. Can you do that?
What choice do I have? It's literally kill or be killed - the people against me are trying to kill me, and will do so regardless of what action I take. The punishment I dole out is, for all intents and purposes, self-defense. The only alternative is letting them kill me, because they will perform no other action, no matter how I behave.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
The only way out that I see is to become independent of those abusers, so your life, and even how you react to them, is not determined by them. I have not found this easy to do, but I think it is the only way to succeed. When you can decrease reacting to them with fear and anger, you can start to see that, internally, they don't feel powerful at all. Just the opposite. They feel frightened, on the edge of disintegration. That is why they must react violently. It's a way to discharge the distress they feel.
You're partially right, in that they feel frightened for their lives, but they simultaneously can't feel "not powerful"; the concept is literally beyond them. If they didn't feel powerful, they would have responded positively to my pleas for peace, but they only saw such negotiations as a weakness. They have one-track minds - I must be destroyed, even if that means destroying themselves in the process; they see my destruction as a moral imperative, a direct command from God.


They will not allow any "independence" from them; they will chase me wherever I run, they will tear down or vault any barriers or boundaries I set up. They behave like a platoon on a suicide mission. They will not allow anything to stop them - not the law, not my efforts, nothing. They are fanatics to their cause, blind with rage and delusional with false ideas.


I have been fighting for my independence since I was a child, but as long as I don't own my own land, grow my own food, cure my own diseases, and put up a physically-impenetrable shield of some kind, I will never be rid of these people. Every dependence on any human being is a route they can and do use to cripple me.
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