I’ve never been with a woman, that’s the issue. I don’t want to give up that chance because it hurt so much being “straight” before. And my past sexual experience with men has been bad...I’d be hesitant to try again. Gender is an issue as well...I’m more masculine and I dislike being forced into the female role both romantically and sexually as I am with straight men. Who knows? Maybe my attraction to men is more I want to be them rather than I want to be with them? Or because living the straight life is so much easier. I also feel like a fraud for only being with men. It’s always like that’s what’s available and that’s what I have to settle for. But yet I’m drawn to him.