2 months is great! I did 2 months at the start of the year but i was inpatient for one of those after my last attempt. Before that and since that it has been mostly a week or 2 sober at a time.

Most of the time after my night in a cell I get to go home because I can lie well when Im sober but get extremely suicidal while manic and drunk.

I havent figured out any trigger for my drinking or episodes but I tend to get hypomanic and then urge to drink grows stronger until I cant handle it anymore and give in. Eventually I end up actually trying and then i am sent ip where I get sober again for a while.

Today I woke up around 3 and have actually been up since then and my mood has lifted so so much. So hopefully Im through the super rough part now. And hopefully wont end up going too far up and start this all over again. Bipolar is ridiculous.


Sarahsweets I dont have many options where I live and would not want to do it in the hospital where I work. I might be doing an ip dbt program eventually and im hoping that will have more of an impact long term than my hospitalizations have and they have a program that deals with co-occuring disorders so mental/substance use which would probably be a good one for me. I really need to get all this under control.

My kids were all so happy I was actually awake this evening to spend time with them. I feel bad for them and how it all effects them.