You say twice she came over and things were messy. What about all the other times? It seems to me that she's a micromanager. And she likes reminding you to do things even when they are done does that sound right to you? If that is the case it might be worth saying to her when she says those things to you and they are done to hear what she says and the. Follow it with “ well yes, good thing they are done now “. Acknowledge what she says while at the same time giving yourself credit for having it done. Does that make sense ?