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lostnthought
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: US
Posts: 10
5 yr Member
Default Mar 19, 2019 at 09:24 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bri_Cnqr View Post
I suppose, a better way to describe my subjective experience of wonder, is that it isn't absent so much as it is muted and not easily accessed. I try to slow down at times. Sometimes it helps, but even that improvement is relative. I definitely experience curiosity but isn't very laden with any sort of joyful enthusiasm. The objects of my senses are often just objects that simply are, and any emotional valence to these experiences is either absent or just mild, generally speaking. I have experienced wonder in the duration of my life but not every day is filled with the titanic, or majestic, and if it were, then the wonder may disappear due to habituation.
Yes, Bri-Cnqr, I can very much relate. It's only later life, I came to understand this about myself. I love to fish, most often alone, in beautifully remote places. Standing alone on a stretch of desolate beach in the early dawn, the sun just breaking the horizon with streaks of pink and blue, the surf flat and calm as a mirror, I truly appreciate the beauty of the scene, the intensity of color, the symmetry of the skyscape. Standing alone on a rocky stream high in the mountains, early morning light filtering down through the trees, mist rising from the stream, again I appreciate the beauty of it all. But I've come to realize, that I'm missing something in this scene, that feeling of joyful enthusiasm you speak of, that feeling of wonder. Yes, I feel at peace, content. But joyful wonder? Never. There's an empty space, where I think a feeling should be. And most often the moment passes, as I survey the scene, estimate the weather, and chart a course for the day. I'm ok with it, that's just who I am, and I do love to fish.
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