I hate how some days I feel completely fine, and the next day is awful complete with suicidal thoughts. I talked to a doctor (not my pdoc but one that works with the group I go to) and he said it does sound like either akathesia or some form of hypomania but he doesn't really know which based on just a couple minutes.
Today is one of those really bad days where I want to hurt myself and just not exist. I want off my meds so at least I can be worse enough for long enough to go to the hospital (or die). Right now I don't think I'm bad enough for hospital.