There's also the whole I have to remove all my body hair (maybe not arms, but who knows) and go back to wearing "girl" clothes when I was planning on buying more men's clothes when I had more money and had someone to go with me so I felt safe doing so. There is a lot of pressure to conform to a specific gender role for a gender I don't particularly identify with when being involved with a man. THAT'S why it's so embarrassing and frustrating to be drawn to and attracted to a man when I know I have to give up everything I am for him to be comfortable. Or for his family to be okay with me. Obviously, a partner's family will always be WAY more important than me. If I even get into the top five list of priorities and importance in someone's life, that's a win. If I can be myself and I am actually seen for who I am and even understood and accepted, I mean that would be crazy! I absolutely do not expect a man to do so. I imagine a woman could. So why am I still attracted to men? As in, why would it be more than just a passing fancy, why do I feel drawn to someone who is incapable of even accepting me and will just shove me into a role that I don't fit?

And I'm also thinking about the other person...someone else could potentially get hurt if I pursue as well.

My therapist suggested I add him on Facebook, but that seems way too forward. I mean, I don't add anyone to Facebook. If someone adds me and I know them, then I'll confirm, but I don't initiate.