I am not making excuses for this person. He has exhibited things to you that you have found to be troublesome. I understand that you are concerned about getting involved with someone toxic that can end up hurting you. It sounds like you have come to see things in this guy that are red flags he is not going to be a good fit for you. I think that's what you need to focus on most. I am not even trying to blame anything on you, not my intention. It's good that you are paying attention to things that are not right for you when it comes to relationships.