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sarahsweets
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Member Since: Dec 2018
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Default Mar 20, 2019 at 06:25 AM
 
Before I was good at valuing my own self worth and picking friends that did too, I was often in this position. It would always take me by surprise and it felt like being the butt of a joke that was never funny. I was married young and had a family by the time I was 21 so my perspective changed quicker than it probably would have. Plus I had to get sober to find out who I really was. But I learned to immediately pull someone aside if I truly felt like something like that happened and question it. Most of the time the people involved denied it-but still apologized and if they did it again I let them know that we had come to the end of the friendship- and why. Sometimes friends truly didnt realize how much of an asshole they were and never let it happen again. It is very betraying but what takes the sting of betrayal away is directly addressing it. People are so used to just sweeping it under the rug and moving on so being direct sort of disarms them and you get a better shot at an honest response. After its addressed once though, no chances are given again. I make it clear how much it hurt me and if they are too insensitive or dumb to not do it again then I know they really didnt hear me or understand my hurt to begin with and are not worth my time.

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Thanks for this!
Iloivar