Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - internalized homophobia
View Single Post
Old 03-20-2019, 11:39 AM
whimsicalman's Avatar
whimsicalman whimsicalman is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 81
whimsicalman whimsicalman is offline
Member
whimsicalman's Avatar
whimsicalman has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 81

63 hugs
given
Default Re: internalized homophobia

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
I've been to LGBT meet-up groups. The vast majority of time, I'm around men because they're more welcoming and there's more of them in the groups. I wouldn't even know how to insert myself in the women's cliques.
Why do you think you have trouble with the women's "cliques"? Might you be making assumptions about how welcoming or not they may be? I ask because I sometimes finding myself in LGBT groups and gravitating toward the women for much of the same fears you seem to be expressing (e.g. "They won't find me attractive enough to welcome me into their conversation," "The girls are just nicer and easier to talk to," "I have nothing in common with those guys and can't contribute anything," etc.). I often need to remind myself that I am sabotaging myself with the negative self-talk. For me, I just have to force myself to at least try . . . and then keep trying, if I immediately continue the negative self-talk with things like, "That didn't go well, so that proves my earlier thoughts."


Quote:
I mainly meet people through work and various gigs. I've met people through school too, but the only person I find interesting there is a guy. I don't know how I'd ever date (unless I pursue the aforementioned guy) because I can't use online dating (I'm afraid that having a recognizable profile would be an ethical violation in my future industry). There are in-person dating events, but those are for straight people so that would limit me to men and while I don't mind being romantically involved with a guy, I'm not sure about the sex.
I am not sure if I was reading your story correctly in that your previous bad sexual experiences have been with men. Have you had any positive experiences with women? Or any at all? I only ask because I believe that the experiences you referred to might not even factor into experiences with women, as they would have a much better understanding of a female body and appropriate pleasure-giving. And many might be much more understanding of hesitancies you mihgt have.
whimsicalman is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote