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Old 03-20-2019, 03:07 PM
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StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2018
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StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
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StreetcarBlanche I don't want realism. I want magic.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 384

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Default Re: How do i keep going? (In desperate need of advice)

When you detach yourself from a toxic partner, you go through a withdraw that includes feeling directionless, devalued, unmotivated, and worthless. These are all reflections though of how the toxic partner viewed and treated you as. So, you're only mirroring now, with your thoughts and feelings, what he thought of you and the way HE treated you. You certainly aren't any of those things. He programmed an abusive pattern into your mind and your life. Now, you have to get deprogrammed by a good therapist.

You're basically caught up in a mental fog right now, as you come down from being in that heightened state of constant abuse cycle that you endured while you were with him.

Don't let it take over your life or become how you view yourself. Try to put it into perspective so that you can move away from that toxic experience into a space where you heal emotionally and psychologically from everything he put you through. That is going to take time, too.

The intrusive thoughts and painful memories are you trying to process the breakup and as you separate from the source of toxicity that he was to you. Let him keep his toxic friends. Anyone who abandons you b/c of that relationship ending, was never a real friend to you to begin with. I saw it happen with my cousin's divorce from his narcissist wife.

He basically lost his friends, lost his job, and moved in with his parents for two years and did therapy and medication to recover from the chaos and abuse she brought into his life. Now, finally, he's happily married to a normal woman and they have a family together. You'll be able to get there, but first, you have to process and heal from what this horrible man did to you.
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