im 17 which is legal where i live but not necessarily everywhere else and thats usually what i think to rationalize it but still depression kicks in to tell me how wrong and gross it is. i dont have a therapist, it costs too much. ive been trying to rely more on friends instead which has worked a bit , though i cant tell them about this. i deeply hate ranting so this so this is a bit easier since people voluntarily read what ive wrote instead of feeling like they r being forced to listen. though that thought isnt gonna stop me from feeling like i shouldnt be here . ( got off on a tangent , sorry , ADD )