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Old 03-20-2019, 06:16 PM
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StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
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StreetcarBlanche I don't want realism. I want magic.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 401

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Heart Re: How do i keep going? (In desperate need of advice)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sangromancer View Post
That's true hopefully. I'm actually starting therapy tomorrow so hopefully that will help.

I'm also just so angry. Like i didn't realize i believed in karma until all of this. He basically got away scot-free and it kills me. I despise that evil little man child.
Your anger is justified; he abused your trust and devalued you while in a relationship with you.

As far as Karma. Most of Western society misinterprets it -- I recently learned what it really means. It doesn't really have anything to do with fate per se.

Karma really has to do with our actions and thoughts in every moment.

Like, it doesn't mean that now something bad is going to happen to your ex-bf b/c he was an abusive jerk to you. It's possible something bad will happen to him, but who knows.

Buddhism defines karma as energy created by action through thoughts, words and behavior. Everything we think and do, creates energy aka "karma." Karma doesn't have anything to do with a past life, but has to do with energy that results from our thoughts, our words, and our behaviors. The good thing about this karma/energy is that it means there is no such thing as "fate." Our future is not set in stone. We can change its direction at any time, with the smallest word, or the biggest risk/action we take.

I'm trying to use this philosophy to help me with my future as far as the type of relationships I want to have with men. I don't want to attract or date narcissists anymore. So, I'm trying to work on words, actions, and thoughts to help me stay away from those abusive types of men.

I hope your therapist helps you find healing. Maybe read some books too, on boundaries and emotional unavailability (those are things narcissists don't have, and why they appeal to women b/c they come across charming and passionate). Don't allow your anger and pain to keep you stuck. I know that's easier said than done because this just happened. Just do your best to work through and process all the yucky emotional baggage that you got from this relationship, so that you can release it and heal and attract a healthier guy for your next relationship.
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