I admire you. Your loving mother who cares deeply for your wellbeing will naturally feel this way, but perhaps you could meet her halfway? If things don't work out, ask her, then you'll know she will take you back. You don't know this uncertain path you are on, but you are brave enough to try. This is admirable.

Make a list of essentials you want to take, but leave some at home so your mother won't feel completely deserted. You may after a while want to return to take some things you have left; on the other hand, if life doesn't work out - well, then at least you will have tried.

You won't be trapped at home forever. All it takes is one brave step. If you are certain about leaving home, then you are on the road to becoming more independent. And this is a great thing, a wonderful goal so good luck!