You’ve hit on an important point regarding your emotions.

It sounds like you are saying you don’t feel a sense of belonging, to yourself, by yourself. When you refer to the homey thoughts about your childhood home vs. your empty feelings about your own home now, you are feeling like you lack something within yourself to make your own homey living and comfort for yourself.

I suggest you ‘find’ yourself. I’m not sure what resources there are for that.

I once read a book which narrows down your interests to point you toward a career. Maybe there are books like that for knowing one’s self?