I would feel hurt in this situation, not because of her rigidity but because I would have the expectation that I *should* be important enough for her to fit me in when I take the step to travel to where she is. However, I would check my expectation for the reality that she did not ask me to travel nor promise that if I did, she would see me.

But what resonates with me is her desire (especially given her age and family situation) is protect her personal time from encroachment with work, as I am trying to do the same thing although my situation is different. Setting boundaries with those I work with has been a repeated theme for me, because they always want me to make time for their issues and projects, as if I don't have other work that needs to be done and a personal life to live. I do think she is showing how a professional makes time for her life and it is not about you. That knowledge is what would help me feel less hurt, but I would have to work at it. I'm sorry it feels this way and I hope you find a better place.