It sounds like whatever happened, you were triggered and are now experiencing great pain and anger as a result. I am so sorry this happens to me a lot. I am 47 years old now and what I finally realized for me at least is that said reaction is a pattern that I have. I react with that kind of flash pain and anger when I feel slighted, controlled, etc with all different types of people. So that's number one, my reaction is yes partly due to their insensitive action, but it's mostly due to my way of reacting. I am currently trying to challenge myself to find different ways of dealing with the anger than contempt, mouthing off, *****ing to my friends, etc. I am not sayin that's what you do... just sharing my poor coping mechanism. So far what I've found is acknowledging that I have a right to be hurt and angry is a good start. Then removing myself precipitously from the interaction to avoid the flash reactions that I have little control over. Then to understand that I can't always be validated by others in my pain, all the time and I need to be able to find ways to heal myself.