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Old 03-21-2019, 10:22 AM
phobosdeimos phobosdeimos is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 12
phobosdeimos phobosdeimos is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 12

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Default Need ideas on how to be social?

Iím doing really good. Iím finally getting past, well, my past. However i grew up isolated. That isolation and my hyper vigilance get in the way of being a social person.

Socially Iíve been known to be very honest, quick, and straight to the point. Which is weird because this is a turnoff for a lot of people. Think Tyrion from game of thrones. Just today i had a woman tell me Iím ďso smart.Ē This was a turn off for me because my being smart had nothing to do with the subject of the conversation. It seemed a waste of time to acknowledge her, it would be counterproductive. So i ignored her. I do the same thing at check out at the store. Someone in line or the cashier will strike up a conversation. I will be brief or somewhat stand off-ish. Iím not trying to be rude i just come off that way. I donít want to say to everyone, ďI have a mental health problemĒ.
This behavior then creates a void for people to insert their narrative of me.
Perfect example, my wifeís aunt has assumed Iím abusing my wife. We were at a party and i was overwhelmed so i asked my wife we could leave. My wife quickly gathered the children and we left. The aunt assumed because Iím quiet that I threatened my wife at the party which is why we left so abruptly. She has gone as far as to tell my wife to divorce me.

I know the line... ďWe cannot control the thoughts and feelings of others, we can only control how we feel.Ē Psych 101.
But Iím tried of all the narratives that people create about me. So I need help.
How do i better communicate to people without communicating to them i have a mental health problem?
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