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phobosdeimos
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phobosdeimos has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: New York
Posts: 12
5 yr Member
3 hugs
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 10:22 AM
 
I’m doing really good. I’m finally getting past, well, my past. However i grew up isolated. That isolation and my hyper vigilance get in the way of being a social person.

Socially I’ve been known to be very honest, quick, and straight to the point. Which is weird because this is a turnoff for a lot of people. Think Tyrion from game of thrones. Just today i had a woman tell me I’m “so smart.” This was a turn off for me because my being smart had nothing to do with the subject of the conversation. It seemed a waste of time to acknowledge her, it would be counterproductive. So i ignored her. I do the same thing at check out at the store. Someone in line or the cashier will strike up a conversation. I will be brief or somewhat stand off-ish. I’m not trying to be rude i just come off that way. I don’t want to say to everyone, “I have a mental health problem”.
This behavior then creates a void for people to insert their narrative of me.
Perfect example, my wife’s aunt has assumed I’m abusing my wife. We were at a party and i was overwhelmed so i asked my wife we could leave. My wife quickly gathered the children and we left. The aunt assumed because I’m quiet that I threatened my wife at the party which is why we left so abruptly. She has gone as far as to tell my wife to divorce me.

I know the line... “We cannot control the thoughts and feelings of others, we can only control how we feel.” Psych 101.
But I’m tried of all the narratives that people create about me. So I need help.
How do i better communicate to people without communicating to them i have a mental health problem?
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