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Old 03-21-2019, 11:07 AM
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Calypso2632 Calypso2632 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Maine
Posts: 254
Calypso2632 Calypso2632 is offline
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Calypso2632's Avatar
Calypso2632 Working on it
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Maine
Posts: 254

3 yr Member
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Default Purge

Things have come quickly to a head. As it gets closer to me getting employed the angrier he seems. And the drunker. I'm not allowed to express my feelings. That I'm stressing about my background check and anxious about starting a new job. I'm at fault because I can't walk the mile and a half to work and he can. He's not obese with chronic pain issues. Like he expects me to fall into certain categories I don't fit into. I am my own person. I'm sick to death of tip toeing around as to not hurt his sensibilities when he outright shoves **** in my face. He imposes his own sense of worthlessness when I never tell him any such thing. Only try to build him up and encourage him to make better choices. He constantly flaunts that he does everything while my efforts are unacknowledged. I feel constantly sabotaged and I'm getting pissed. I want my power back. No human should treat another this way. I wallowed in alcohol for years and finally found change. He says this is how it's going to be for him. So refusal to change anything. Everyone in his life is at fault or the bad guy but him. Sometimes he says he knows he screwed up but never owns or really apologizes for it. I know I can't change or fix him. But I do love him. I've got to protect myself somehow tho..
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