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LyingEyes
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Member Since: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 17
10 yr Member
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 02:37 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
This scenario is similar to the hell I’m in for 25 years. You question if this is a deal breaker. This has me pondering what ‘the deal’ even is. WTH deal have I gotten? If you have a good relationship, this is a minor thing that resolves itself and doesn’t get worse, then I’d say you have a good deal.
Are you experiencing her side of the issue or mine? How have you guys been coping?

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I don’t think your expectations are unreasonable. I’d very much dislike my butt smacked or my private parts and boobs grabbed while I am cooking or doing other routine stuff. My husband would end up with black eye if he forced these kind of things on me. I think if after spoken to she continues asserting herself this way, it would be a deal breaker for me
Yeah. She has stopped because I told her to, but seems unhappy about it. A bit hurt about it--but I am much happier now. I just don't know what to do about her hurt feelings--I dont want it to be like this forever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
I’m not impressed with her claim that she is afraid to initiate sex.

There are ways to express an interest in having sex other than what she is doing.

Gentler, more romantic, more exciting, more loving ways.

She should use them.

I’m not impressed either with her tears over not being able to invade your private areas whenever she wants to.

You might want to look into emotional blackmail. Maybe not intentionally, but in what she says about being afraid to initiate sex, and in what she says about invading your private areas, she seems to be attempting to make you suffer emotionally for not complying with her demands.
Yeah, I've told her I enjoy things like kissing before sex, touching other parts of my body that are less sensitive, etc... I think she just wants to be able to touch freely without worrying about me being uncomfortable? I want to add that I don't want to make her into the villain here--she is complying with what I'm saying, but is obviously hurt about it...and I don't think she has any bad intentions, it's just one way she shows affection that is important to her...

I am a very assertive person, and I think she's nervous about making me angry at her, as she hates conflict. Whenever I talk to her about this, she thinks there's no way to solve the issue. She agreed that she would try to help me think of some kind of compromise that makes both of us feel better, but I have no idea what that would be.
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