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SarahSweden
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,700
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 06:30 PM
 
Thanks. Not many clients talk about this, Iīve searched the net about articles but havenīt found anything. I think this about imagining our T:s having sex with their husbands might be a way to make them more human and more vulnerable. That because we make us very vulnerable to them.

In a sense for me itīs also some kind of grief that fuels those thoughts, that I wonīt ever be that person my therapist choses over everyone else, and that includes having sex with that person. Thinking of her and her husband might be a way to try to find out how to be even more close to her, like trying to find out, even if totally impossible, how I can be more important to her.

My thoughts also stem from my jealousy and anger about her being married and having love in her life while Iīve never had that. Itīs like I try to see through her and "reveal" how she really is by imagining how her sex life is.

But as you, I donīt have a full answer to this, sometimes the thoughts can be a bit intruding but mostly theyīre part of my grief mixed with anger.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccer mom View Post
I can't believe this - I got on here after months of not posting to post almost this exact thing! I do the exact same thing. I have MET with my current T and she knows. I haven't been able to tell her that I imagine her having sex especially when I am but never with her. I'm not attracted to her but I wonder how she is with her husband. I also did this with my ex-T but I don't do it with any other women. There's got to be a reason but I can't admit this to her. I've wondered if it's my mind imagining how she is when she's being loved or how she is when she loves?

Outside of therapy I wonder about males. I am married with kids so I've always preferred men. I just don't understand why I do this. I agree there's also the curiousity but I must be wondering for a reason.

I"m so tired of wondering, I'm about at the point to tell her but I'm afraid it will be awkward for her (and definitely me).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccer mom View Post
I can't believe this - I got on here after months of not posting to post almost this exact thing! I do the exact same thing. I have MET with my current T and she knows. I haven't been able to tell her that I imagine her having sex especially when I am but never with her. I'm not attracted to her but I wonder how she is with her husband. I also did this with my ex-T but I don't do it with any other women. There's got to be a reason but I can't admit this to her. I've wondered if it's my mind imagining how she is when she's being loved or how she is when she loves?

Outside of therapy I wonder about males. I am married with kids so I've always preferred men. I just don't understand why I do this. I agree there's also the curiousity but I must be wondering for a reason.

I"m so tired of wondering, I'm about at the point to tell her but I'm afraid it will be awkward for her (and definitely me).
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