View Single Post
LyingEyes
Junior Member
 
LyingEyes's Avatar
LyingEyes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 17
10 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Mar 21, 2019 at 07:39 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
That sort of feels like a form of control to me on her part..... I still cannot put my finger on it. Does she have trouble with boundaries in general and respecting your privacy or private time? Do you take any private time to yourself? To see your own friends for example or to do your own activities without her?

It does sound like she has trouble understanding and appreciating boundaries. Anyone who DOES understand personal boundaries wouldn't be so hurt by this, or in tears. It also seems very contradictory to be in tears about it when you are snuggling and cuddling being close.

I wonder if you could have a candid heart to heart with her about why it is so important to her? To hear her out and also to express to her why it's so important to you that she not touch you when you don't want to be touched? Perhaps you need to really talk it out more and hear each other's sides so as to come to more of an understanding together?
Haha, if you do put your finger on it, let me know! I'd love your insight. I do think she has some boundary issues, and I believe it's because her last girlfriend had low self esteem and pretty much did whatever she (my gf) wanted. That's the impression I got--I can't be sure. However, I am NOT like that one bit, and she seemed shocked by how stubborn I am about my boundaries. Lol.

I try often to have conversations with her about it, but she is not a very effective communicator. I generally have to breach the subject and then ask her very specific questions. It's really rare for her to just voice her mind without being prompted. I've asked her why she thinks it's so important, and she either shrugs, says that the relationship feels 'too platonic' without it, or that it just bothers her that she 'cant touch and be close to me'.
LyingEyes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous49426, Have Hope