Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - My girlfriend is upset because I don't want her to touch me.
View Single Post
Old 03-22-2019, 05:29 AM
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 228
Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Member
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 228

1 yr Member
167 hugs
given
Default Re: My girlfriend is upset because I don't want her to touch me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyingEyes View Post
Yes, I get the feeling of entitlement too. Maybe possessiveness? I really don't know. To me, it is strange, because if she told me that touching her in some way made her uncomfortable i wouldn't want to touch her like that...because I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I'm trying to like pick her brain to understand what underlying meaning it has for her. I don't want her to feel rejected, or like she has to be on eggshells around me.

I thought you made a really valuable insight here, which I bolded. You wouldn't do this yourself because you're sensitive to how she would feel about it. It doesn't seem that she disrespects you otherwise, but it feels to me like she's disregarding your own feelings?

She's taking it as a rejection, but it's not. And she feels entitled to your body without any boundaries being established. I don't know if it's a need for some control or dominance because she's more passive? You mentioned possessiveness.. is she overly possessive of you otherwise?

I guess we could sit here and analyze it to death and still not have the real answers. But I think you're onto something here. There's something going on where she's not respecting or valuing your feelings enough, I believe.

You probably wouldn't cry if she put up the same type of boundary telling you it makes you uncomfortable, nor would I. It feels very one-sided, this aspect of things, like she's only considering her feelings and not yours.
__________________
Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says: