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TishaBuv
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TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
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Default Mar 22, 2019 at 07:18 AM
 
“That sort of feels like a form of control to me on her part....”

It is about control. It’s about her trying to get you to meet her needs in your sexual initiation routine. This is why she’s crying in frustration. You are not giving her what she wants.

Now somewhere she got in her mind, that what she is doing to you at the sink, is going to motivate you to give her what she wants, your attention. That’s why this feels like rejection to her. What she is doing is not working, obviously. She got an idea in her head that is annoying to you (and understandably) and it is not working for her.

She said she doesn’t want to be the initiator sexually, wants to take the passive role. This is where I think this conflict is coming from. Who wants to be the alpha?

I’ve had this dynamic in my dysfunction.

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