So lately I've seen myself as afraid to try and start a relationship with another person. Ever since my last relationship, my ex girlfriend used to be my best friend and before we got into a relationship, I had a girlfriend at the time that had moved away to a different country. I was in 8th grade when all of this happened, so I was still kinda brand new to the whole relationship thing, but I had a hang of it because I was just going along the flow and having fun. So one day, my was best friend and I were on facetime and I'm telling her about my girlfriend and how we want to see each other again badly, but being easily gullible 8th grade me, she was trying to convince me to break up with her because long distance relationships don't usually workout and using all of these facts and past relationships and saying you'll never see her and what if she's seeing someone over there? Eventually, it got me a little paranoid for no reason and got me to break up with her. Not too long after I became sad because I cared about her, she came over to my house and started making out with me out of the blue, completely unexpected. That made me grow attached and eventually we started dating. I felt like it was a new start and a new experience. We dated for 2 months and everything was going great and I felt like we can go a long way, until out of nowhere, her attitude towards me changed. She didn't give me a goodbye kiss no more or didn't talk or text me the same way or looked at me different. At this point I was worried because I didn't know if I did something and when I asked her she said, "no it's just something about me". She wouldn't tell me and then a few days later, randomly broke up with me. I was down for a while and I would've gotten back up on my feet. Until I found out that she tried to break up with me to go out with my best friend at the time. I was committed and so into the relationship that you could go as far to say that I was in love. After I found that out, I started to rethink our whole entire relationship over and thinking if any of it was really real and if she's been lying to me anytime she said the words, "I love you". The rest of that year I was a little depressed and i haven't spoke or done as much as i used to and my whole personality changed. My grades dropped a bit and my attitude and view on people have completely changed. It wasnt until my freshman year of high school where I decided to find out the reasons why that I started to have a lower self esteem and fear of relationships. Have you ever had something that you wouldn't want anything to happen to it no matter what and just have it taken away from you for no reason? Yea, I felt like I was missing something, anger, sadness, and just everything. I'm now 16 and I have difficulty getting into relationships. Not because I can't get into one, but because I had that bad relationship experience that caused me a lot of pain inside that I've never felt before. I have confidence in myself and my grades are back up and I'm mostly back to normal, but when it comes to trying to get into a relationship, i almost think that the same thing is going to happen with everyone, which may not be the case,but having that one bad experience just leaves a mark in the back of my head. Anyways, I dont know how to get rid of this fear and I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any because I want to get into a relationship but I have a fear of having that attachment again and the same result happening again.