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jaymoq
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jaymoq has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 156
8 yr Member
5 hugs
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Default Mar 22, 2019 at 12:53 PM
 
Thank you for the replies. I am relieved to know that I didn't read this situation entirely wrong. I make real efforts to not tell anyone what they can or can't do. Because who am I to have that say? But I am not going to say they can do anything and there not be consequences to our relationship. I felt really betrayed when he told me this and even more hurt that he would turn this around and make this about me being selfish. I think he really needs to assess his own priorities. I imagine there are folks out there that would welcome their partner being gone all the time. Some people like that sort of flexibility and independence. But I just don't. If I wanted that much flexibility and independence, I'd rather be single. There's nothing worse to me than being in a committed relationship and never seeing the person. Because if I do go and have fun or make friends or do things without them, A) they have typically gotten jealous or feel threatened and/or B) I am having fun without them- so why am I keeping them around? What benefit are they to me? I was typically very insecure and its taken a lot of therapy to get me to even advocate for myself in a relationship. This is certainly triggering those inferior responses of "I'm a horrible person, I should be glad I have anyone, I don't deserve anything, I have no say". And that is negative self-talk and I need to stop it.

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MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky