My Support Forums - View Single Post - Financial issues and household responsibility issues

BlueMerleGirl · Mar 22, 2019 at 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusax

I hear you on the lazy part. I do not make the most money, but I manage money well and he can't at all. he would be in debt if he made 10k a month. he works for the railroad and he keeps most of what he makes and sends me what is left over. I work for a local poultry plant, and most of the time my paychecks are more than what he sends home. We are in a very LOW cost area, I insisted we move out of Oregon in 2008. We do not have children, but the work falls on me. The yard, the house and of course my job, which often has mandatory overtime. He has recently filed for a debt consolidation program, AGAIN. Fun things for him are sitting in his recliner watching TV while playing on his computer. I feel your pain. I too, have simply learned to "live" with it.

Thanks for this. I am glad to know I’m not alone. I don’t want to feel like I am being petty or fighting over dumb things but I really feel like it’s driven us apart. This would NEVER be ok if the situation was reversed. If he was making all the money and I was losing it in a business and not doing even my fair share of housework and childcare, I am sure I’d be expected to do all of it like I do now. I’ve gotten to the point where I feel guilty when I ask him to do things like cook dinner. I know he has mental health issues but I just don’t understand how he is capable of so little. And he sometimes feels overwhelmed and like he has too much responsibility which is just infuriating to me. I have learned to love with it as well, but I have resentment that I just can’t swallow and it’s really caused us to go in the wrong direction. I don’t know whether he is just not capable of handling things or if it’s just about laziness.