Is he in the career field that requires being gone a lot like he works on oil refineries engineer or is a pilot or military? Then it’s understandable he has no choce. If not then he deliberately looks for a job that would keep him out of the house and make him unavailable. I wonder if you are attracted to unavailable men as both men just don’t want to be fully there? Like one foot in and one out? I’d address it with your therapist