Another way to look at your chronic issue is to shift the focus and to work on dealing with other people's anger or dealing with your childhood. Perhaps the suicidal thoughts are more like the surface of the wound that has just never healed. You can keep cleaning and bandaging the wound, or you can look at what's causing it to continue to hurt. I also think that shifting focus after you've tried focusing on the suicidal thoughts and feelings for years with your therapist might be a worthwhile experiment.

I'd also encourage you not to be too certain in your T preferences. I prefer working with women therapists but I've seen the same guy now for almost 10 years. My first therapist was male, too. For me it's more about the person than the gender, but therapy for me is also more about how I'm willing to make changes and stop avoiding my past rather than who the therapist is. The buddhists say something like when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Therapy has worked for me like that.