Welp, I figured out at least part of my fear of men. In 2008-2010 I knew this guy from my first college. We became friends for a while of sorts. He was a very negative and screaming person at all sorts of things. Made me extremely nervous.

Well at some point we went to an anime convention. In the hotel room we were laying next to each other and I began feeling feelings in my body including fear. He started to go down on me physically and I was able to stop him. But he did this without warning and I had not given any talk to him as to things I would like or not like.

Fast forward a few months later and he picked me up to visit him in his place. I didn't think much of it till he started cuddling me and holding me...which I did NOT want. I was too scared and terrified to say no.


Later on when I was at my second university he started forcing the issue of coming to see me and did not take no as an answer. I had to eventually get mean to him to get him off my back.