From yesterday:

I cried bucket loads and can't actually remember much now .

We talked about the dream and why I emailed it instead of saying it- to create distance. Whilst the doctor one was about being in control, the other helpless.

He said that maybe what happened with my cousin wasn't a one off event, that maybe it started younger. but we wouldn't be able to tell. Did I feel responsible for it?

What did I think that he thought of me?

That he could see me as a three year old. He got the little prince book I gave him from his bookshelf and said not every book made it there only special ones. He opened the book and we talked about the first picture with the hat which could be seen differently.