Recently, someone asked me for a favor and I said, "No." I usually say things like, "Well, I don't think I can..." (which is my version of "no") but this time, the actual N-O came out! Usually, I am thinking about how can I say "No" without sounding offensive, or what possible excuses I could come up with to get the person to leave me alone. But this time, I was not thinking about any of these things. I was only thinking about myself, precisely:

"I deserve not to be bothered all the time; I deserve to live in peace!"

Strange, I was never able to say the exact word "No" when I was actually thinking about saying "No" (LOL).

My counselor was so excited for me!

Now, this was a relatively new person in my life, whom I had not established an expectation in her mind that I would always say "Yes." She is also not likely to retaliate. So I feel that I've dealt with an easy case for a start.

I still need to learn how to say "No" to someone who has been accustomed to my "Yes" for many years, whom I fear retaliation from based on the history. Any tips?