I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, mountainstream When we feel down, we can certainly feel "negative". But it's not our fault. It's definitely not YOUR fault if you're feeling like this! Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're certainly not to blame for how are you feeling! Please feel free to share and vent here as much as you need and want. We all care about you here. We all love you here. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. Please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, mountainstream. Stay strong. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! You can do this! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you, mountainstream! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, mountainstream. You don't deserve to suffer at all. I hope things will get better soon for you