I'm so sorry you're in so much pain, lowpoint I completely agree with what raging vortex has already wisely said better than I ever could. You don't "deicde" when you hit rock bottom. You just know you did. You just feel it. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. You don't deserve it at all. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please keep fighting. I think it's great that you're trying all of these things to get better! I know it doesn't seem very helpful right now, but trust me when I say that they will help in the long run. The way towards healing starts from little things, after all! Take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. No need to hurry. Trust me when I say that things can and will get better. I promise you that. You're stronger than you think. You can do this! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, lowpoint. Please keep fighting. You've got this. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. You're a strong, wonderful person. Please remember that. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. You don't deserve to suffer at all