Here’s why I’m frustrated. I make all the money. Especially with the new debt, it’s just not enough to live the lifestyle we want. It is enough to cover basic living expenses (we are in a relatively high cost of living area). So we are lucky there. He spends boatloads if money on Diet Pepsi, energy drinks, and cigars. Seems like not a big deal but it adds up and we can’t afford it. It never used to bother me that I was the breadwinner, but I have become annoyed since his business has cost us so much money. And he does NOT do much to help us save any. It is like pulling teeth to get him to cook, so I have to do all of it or we end up eating out a lot which we can’t afford. He doesn’t do laundry, and it’s so much effort just to get him to do basic household chores that it’s almost easier if I just do it! He’s gotten better but it’s still pretty awful. I am so frustrated that I have to make all the income, spend more than we can afford on cigars, and do 80 percent of the work maintaining the house and cooking. He just does not get it. It is even worse now because his business takes his energy so he can’t do fun things I want, and he has less energy to help with the house. Somehow I manage to work all day and still do things for the household but he is absolutely incapable or unwilling to do that. I love him, and I don’t want to get angry over petty things, but I just don’t understand how this is OK. We fight about finances a lot and we do make improvements but it just seems to go back to normal after a while. I am fine if he stays home, but he needs to watch the kid, do at least 50 percent of the cooking and housework if not more, and stop wasting money to make our budget work. He has stayed home before and it just did not work out and I’m afraid that’ll happen again. I feel like I’ve just leaned to live with this stuff that makes me unhappy and I don’t know what to do.

Why are things like this, what can I do to make it better?