Well, let me think ...

[brief intermission, elevator music plays]

1. You said you are super resistant and that you don't know why. You might want to try various ways of exploring that the next time it happens. What are the things you are really feeling and thinking in that moment? I find it harder to do after the fact. Hopefully your therapist can give you some guidance on this.

So, what happens internally when the time comes to go, say, to the church? Knowing why would help.

For some things, maybe the social aspect is important to you -- but the rest may not be. That may not be enough motivation. So, try to find social events that really line up with something you truly want to do anyways. Try to find an activity or hobby that can be done socially (even if not normally). That might give you the extra bit of energy.

I don't know if this relates, but, I overthink things. I try to tell myself it will be alright. And if it isn't -- that's alright too. Some days and some things are just meh. You usually don't feel bad for trying -- which leads to ...

2. I find this hard. My family was supportive in their own way, but not emotionally -- at least not in any way that connected with me. I've never felt very connected to people. I've never been in a relationship. So, I don't truly know what it is to feel acceptance and kindness, or love. I haven't felt that kind of closeness from others and so I struggle to even know how provide it for myself. I can treat myself to something, or take a rest, or try to comfort myself, but it never feels like anything meaningful.

So, like other things, I try to do little steps at a time. First, do no harm. I try not to be so hard on myself. If I can't do anything else, I at least aim for this.

I try to adapt and re-direct. That is, find something else positive (preferably not avoidant) to do with my time and energy.

I try to do things not because "I have to", but because I might feel better if I do. Because I should deserve to have a life as much as the next person. So I try for gentle striving, not harsh goading. That's really hard to internalize -- and not just for me, based on what I hear from others. So I try to gently push forward as best I can.

I realize that's all kind of vague, and not a set of instructions you can just follow or tell someone. But life doesn't work like that does it?