Feeling somewhat stable, not manic or depressed. A little off, up and down, but whatever it is isnt too bad. Have been mostly sober for the last 12 days. Only had one beer last week so thats really good. Have been going to AA and my pdoc appts. H told me he wont enable me anymore when I tried last night, if I can just get him to say its not a big deal or he wont be upset then I feel ok with drinking but he started seeing a T and I think maybe they told him even that is enabling. Its good and sucks a bit, kept me from drinking last night so I am happy now about it. Just hard in the evenings still. Getting things done around home. Not taking any meds, I just feel confused in that department so I am taking some time to relax about it and not keep trying to make some big "decision" about if I should or shouldnt take them because it just stresses me out.

Overall pretty good. Feel like I am just enjoying the somewhat calm waters while everyone else believes the weatherman saying there is a hurricane coming. Its a toss up in my mind. Pdoc said she is 80% sure of my diagnosis when I said I still wasnt sure. She said she cant be 100% because she hasnt seen me completely manic and can only go on history, genetics and what she seen ip at which point I had already spent a week on a medical ward first.

Also its spring for real here Everything is melting and sometimes you can even go without a sweater. Gonna have our first fire of the year in the backyard tonight and roast hot dogs.