My Support Forums - View Single Post - "You've failed yourself as a female because..."

Mar 24, 2019 at 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guilloche

Thanks, SilverTrees... it looks like we were typing at the same time!

I agree that my friend's comments probably had more to do with his own issues. He's actually a really good friend, and a great dad. I think that his "dad-ness" actually was really helpful when I worked for him, and made him a better manager. He was (usually) very emotionally intelligent, though could be a little blunt sometimes. Good guy though, we're still friendly.

I think that the decision to have or not have children has so many different inputs, it doesn't make sense to me to simplify it down to "selfishness". Sometimes, it's selfish to have kids - some people have kids because they want miniature versions of themselves, or little people who they believe will unconditionally love them and never leave. It's not really my business though, I've got enough to deal with worrying about what I'm doing in my little corner of the universe.

The Oscar Wilde quote is really beautiful! So many good thoughts wrapped up in that one! I like the idea that selfishness boils down to trying to impose your own decisions on other people, that makes sense to me.

This, "A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. " - really struck me. I don't know what/who I am yet. And, I feel so old to be trying to figure out where I fit in to the world, but that's the essence of it - I don't know if I'm a rose, or a gardenia, or a wild honeysuckle bush making everyone sneeze. And, I don't know how people figure it out!

Thank you for this. I am glad you like the quote. I'm a big fan of Wilde.

You know I'm not sure which type of flower I am either! I think I know parts of who I am but I have a LOT of questions. Sometimes I feel sad or lost about that. Other times, I tell myself to enjoy the exploration through this crazy trip we call Life. I honestly don't know how to figure it out either. Best I can do is self-reflection and to keep trying new things. I believe I will be a work-in-progress until my last day on earth and I actually find that idea beautiful...that I'm never "finished" or "complete"....always more to explore. I have a feeling that deep thinkers often feel confused or unsure of themselves because they look at things on so many levels (some of the great geniuses of the world lived with frequent anguish). I personally got the anguish without the genius...what's that about??

It could be that everyone feels unsure of which flower they are from time to time but they don't necessarily say so?

It's not really my business though, I've got enough to deal with worrying about what I'm doing in my little corner of the universe.

Thank you for that! I agree! I am sorry if it sounded as though I was judging other people's choices. I really just wanted to point out the double standard in society because currently the tide flows against unmarried/childless women. But yes, my focus should be on myself and my corner of the Universe. That is my power and my scope. Thanks so much for sharing. You have much more wisdom than you give yourself credit for.