My Support Forums - View Single Post - I got some things to discuss with my therapist.... (TRIGGER WARNING)

Findingreason · Mar 24, 2019 at 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

This guy you explained as a friend? It's important that you discover what you consider safe simply because it's "familiar". This guy was not someone you should be gravitating towards as a friend, the familiar that stands out to me is his comfort in invading boundaries and how comfortable he is with yelling etc., around you. You were still young and naive in college when that happened. Keep in mind that remembering these different experiences doesn't mean you need to feel bad or guilty, it just means you made a choice that was not healthy for you and a lot of that had to do with just not knowing at the time and thinking it was normal because of your history and it was "familiar" to you.

Possible trigger:

That's a good point. I didn't have a good idea of what was someone I should avoid in my life. I tend to get dragged into connections with people I'd rather not be. I'm bad at setting up boundaries. But yes, I grew up not knowing how to set up boundaries cause my parents didn't teach me it. As it is, I grew up around parents that yelled with each other a semi-regularly amount, hence why I didn't think much of it with this guy and his temper...

My wife helped me realize something. i thought I was exercising consent with that guy when he did what he did to make him stop the first time. Well, my wife helped me see that I didn't even GIVE him consent in the first place. He didn't ask if it was okay either. He just DID what he did.