Welcome to PC

I see that this is your second post. Unfortunately, depressions and anxieties do not just disappear when life is handing out roses.
Reading through your storyline, it makes sense why there's a doomsday feeling. At the same time, wanting it to not be there despite logic giving it reason to not be there, says to me that it might be important to sit with those grief feelings from your past. Maybe even with a trained professional/therapist?