I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Kwackerjack I understand what you mean. You've been through a lot and it's normal that you'd feel this way about yourself. I completely agree with what healingme4me has already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to her if you can. She always gives great advice. I'd suggest to work on yourself a bit. It's great that you've found the right person for you, and I wish you both many years of happiness and fulfillment! However you need to be happy with yourself first and not just with other people. I agree about seeing a therapist. Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I feel like it may be really helpful to you! Please do consider it! I'm sure your girlfriend will be supportive of you and your decision. Keep working on yourself and try to rebuild your self-esteem! You CAN do this! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! You're a strong, wonderful person. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. Keep fighting! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Kwackerjack! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! Please don't give up! Try to hang on! You're a strong, wonderful person! I hope things will get better soon for you and that your girlfriend will keep being supportive! Keep fighting! Remember that you're awesome and strong! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this