Good for you ENNIE! its so hard to say no. I had to learn it when I got sober having been raised as a people pleaser. Its very freeing when you do it more often. The other thing I do when I am leaning towards no but have a couple of things to think through about it is I will say " Let me think about it and get back to you". This way it can never be misconstrued as a yes. And when I have thought about it and the answer is no I will say " Ive thought about it and No, I can do that (for you, etc)". Sometimes saying you have thought about it give the 'no' more weight and if there are questions you can repeat it " No, sorry I have thought about it and the answer is still no". I had to learn that "no" is a complete sentence. No more explaining needs to be done. You are awesome!