Quote:
Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84
I resent having to look for a job right now. It's so stressful and I don't know what say. Plus why do i have to give my time to someone just to be offered enough to barely survive on and maybe a couple days a week to do what I want...if that. There I said it I think maybe I do have an entitled mentality but it's my life it's my time and I don't get anymore I'm so tired of everyone else having control of what I do with my time. I'm so tired. I feel like admitting you don't want a job is tantamount to admitting to a murder in the US at least, maybe it's better abroad, I don't know. I'm probably just not talented or ambitious enough to live life on my terms in the way I want, or maybe I'm just stubborn.
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Hello annoyedgrunt. Sorry you're struggling. I don't think you've said or done anything wrong here. You feel how you feel, right? There are no wrong feelings. As I read a few more of your posts on the thread, I thought you sounded very depressed. Is depression something you are diagnosed with? New? Long-term? Hard to perceive value or joy in anything, work or otherwise, when we feel depressed.
I heard a yogi say that the difference between heaven and hell is whether we are doing something willingly. Perhaps if you could find work that you feel willing to do, something you value, you'd feel better about it?
I can relate to what you said about feeling that someone else owns your time or dictates your schedule. I'd love to meet the person who decided that we all have to work at least 40 hours and 5 days on, 2 days off. I personally have been a workaholic for many years and I have recently been thinking of how to change my life. Work is only one piece. And honestly, my work (though valued by society as helping others) never brought me any real personal happiness or fulfillment so I think I need to make changes. I would at least like to reduce to 4 days on and 3 days off though that may not be possible.
In Japan there are many adults literally working themselves to death. They even have a word for it now: Karōshi (過労死). They work such long hours that their bodies can no longer survive. I watched a documentary about it. Very disturbing.
Your point about the U.S. is well made. I think a lot of people assume that if someone is not working, that's a reflection of their character somehow. There are all sorts of reasons why people don't work or don't want to work. We cannot know what is in another person's mind or soul....nor is it our right to find out. I think we should each keep our eyes on our own yoga mat, so to speak
It is no surprise to me that someone who sounds very depressed is not excited about the prospect of a job. I've lived with chronic depression since childhood. I have dragged myself to work for years. That is exhausting and can be very disheartening.
I hope you can find something which brings you peace or joy. You deserve it.