Thanks for sharing your concern. Actually it sounds as though you & I share some similar experiences. Anxiety... sometimes severe anxiety... has been something I've struggled with my whole life. (I could tell you stories. But I'll spare you that.)

I have a couple of thoughts right off the top based on what you wrote. One thing that jumps out at me is that you seem more concerned with what other people will think than you are with your own mental (& perhaps physical) health. (Unrelenting anxiety can take a toll on one's physical being over time as well as on one's mental health.)

The other thing is that it seems you've already pretty-much ruled out the ways in which most people address problems related to anxiety... therapy & medication. I understand both of these things though because I've been there too. And I still am. The difference, I guess, is that I'm old now &, to a large extent, it just no longer matters. You, I presume, are still young... at least by my standards since I'm 70 years old!

So it seems to me, based on my own struggles with this over the years, that perhaps you have simply reached a point where you have to make a choice. One option would be to forget about what other people think & do what you need to do to take care of yourself. (It's what I should have done many years ago but didn't.) The other is to resolve to simply "gut it out" so to speak & live with your anxiety & whatever effects (both short & long-term) it may produce... which is what I did. (Not recommended.) Yes it sounds as though you've had problems related to med's in the past. (I've been there as well.) And these are certainly concerns that must be taken into account. But if you want to try to find a way to resolve your anxiety they should not, cannot, constitute a rationale for taking the medication card off the table summarily. At least that is my personal opinion.

Of course there are things you can do to address your anxiety that don't involve therapy or psych med's. You could establish a consistent meditation / relaxation program, develop a consistent physical exercise routine, avoid anything containing caffeine, eat a healthy well-rounded diet, etc. (Perhaps you're already doing some or all of these things?) You could, perhaps, develop a journaling program to try to help you come to an understanding of what may have caused your anxiety to begin with & what triggers it now. In a sense, you would be developing your own non-traditional anti-anxiety program. It may all be the answer to your prayers... or it may not. But it might be something to try as an alternative to the therapies & med's routine.

Here are links to 11 articles, from PC's archives, that relate to the various ideas I've suggested here. Perhaps they may be of some help or at least interest:

5 Steps to Reduce Worrying and Anxiety

9 Ways to Reduce Anxiety Right Here, Right Now

15 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Anxiety Symptoms

Top 10 Lesser-Known Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety

How Meditation Helps Anxiety

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...ut-meditation/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/chang...itation-fails/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...s-and-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...stress-relief/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/using-...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-tip...anage-anxiety/

My best wishes to you...