I'm glad I get to see you tomorrow.
I'll probably do some writing tonight to share with you. The kind of thing I hand over and make you read instead of reading it myself.

Maybe this is manipulative, but I wish I knew what to write that would get a warm and compassionate and caring response from you in a way that makes me feel safe and close to you. Something I'll replay over and over in my head after. It's been a while since we've had one of those moments.
I always feel guilty, like I'm taking something I'm not supposed to have, like I have no right to feel something so personal and emotionally intimate. Like I'm somehow violating boundaries by letting myself feel so intensely.
Would you pull back if you knew? Would you be disturbed? There's a part of me that desperately wants you to tell me it's okay, you understand and that you're okay with it.
And for the millionth time I swear it's not ET.