Hi stillthinking94.

Well Maybe..Just Maybe, you are looking at this from the wrong direction.

Yes 2017 was a dreadful year for you, but you survived it...and with each new year it inches more & more into the past. You will most likely continue to carry some bad memories...and every new year will bring challenges and triumphs. But heeding our past, and taking life lessons forward with us, helps us create a brighter future for ourselves.

I wish you all the best moving forward stillthinking94, and welcome to PC. You will find we're a pretty good bunch here.