Last week I had strongly felt my T's love towards me. I felt him "in" the connection. I didn't miss him as much this week and I wasn't as desperate to see him as usual. T said he wondered why his presence in session was something I could take away with me more than usual. I said I just had an image of a loom. And every session I cut the material away to take away with me, and the material is the relationship. If I just have my layer, I cut it away and it just falls to the floor as tangled yarn, but when it is interwoven with his presence, it becomes cloth - something I can cut away and take away with me. I'm describing it much better here because he helped me make sense of it, but I just had the image and he helped me to put words to what it represents.

We talked a lot about how much our relationship has changed over the last 4+ years. He said the relationship feels much more equal, like we are just two fragile, vulnerable people figuring it out together. We talked about making sense of the transference and countertransference together and we do that at quite a deep level because we trust each other.

We talked about how last session had been a connected session and this one feels like a reflective session (though I still felt connected) and we said how that seems to be a kind of mini process we go through within the bigger process.

He asked if I had thought any more about the presence of our animus/anima. I said I had thought about it, but hadn't reached any great insight. He said that's where he was at with it too. I said it rings true somehow but I can't reach it. It's certainly a part of my process.

We talked about some of the things I've been doing and how I wouldn't have had the self-belief to do that stuff before.

We came to the end. I hugged him and said "I love you" and I left.