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saidso
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Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 05:49 AM
 
I held back from posting this because not sure whether it's relevant. Just that I shared a house with a women for a few months who had a 9 year old (left with me to supervise at times) who had behaviour problems. Aggressive, rude, physically lashing out, once threw a dinner plate, etc. She was the parent and obviously I wasn't... I did feel upset by it and discussed with a friend who therapises youngsters who agreed was a cause for concern.

After I moved out, the school finally picked up courage to send the youngster to a psychologist for a few months of sessions and I've heard that he has calmed down.

So I think there is valid cause for concern which can be denied for some time by parents enmeshed with their kids... but my own experience is that eventually that behaviour will spread to interactions with other children at school and the school will pick that up.

I was more upset by living with this behaviour than I realised/ allowed myself to notice/ at the time. The friend/ psychotherapist said that extra-ordinary behaviour happens in kids with parents who go through divorce/ relationship difficulties - and it is significant for 9 year old children and needs to be brought into the open with them.

I get that after finding an ideal partner you must be discouraged by all this. My friend, parent of the 9 yr old, still denies that it was a big issue - but at least the school did eventually notice and therapeutic intervention helped the youngster out.

He was pushing boundaries bigtime!!! - and too physically big to contain as you would a 2 year old with tantrums - plus concerns that going into adolescence things could only get worse.

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